Inspirational Monday: Steve Jobs, 2005 Stanford University Commencment Speech

Mondays should be nothing less than great. In honor of the late and great Steve Jobs, enjoy the inspirational speech from the 2005 Stanford University Commencement address.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from this speech:

• "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
• "No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life."
• "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition." 

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

Backwards or Forwards? I am not this flexible

Each day I get a Story of the Day from the StoryPeople. This is what arrived in my inbox this morning:

"Bending over backwards to keep from going forwards."

Today this quote particularly seems true for me. I want to move forward but I'm hesitant. What exactly does moving forward entail for me? It's really two options:

1. Staying and getting a grown up job (which I'm currently working but only part-time and endlessly waiting for a full-time position. Sometimes I think it's wishful thinking that I'll even be considered for that position). 
2. Leaving. Hit the road. Booking a ticket to Asia until Christmas. Or moving to the mountains. 

I've put in all this time and hard work to get myself this part-time position with a company and a culture I love. I love what I do and I love going to work. Not many of my friends can honestly say that. But at the same time, I'm young and in my 20s. I still desire freedom, little responsibility and the opportunity to explore. I'll have a job and career well into my 60s and probably will still be working in my 70s. So I'm torn. I just don't know.

Let's rub salt into the wound

Who ever sang "Breaking Up is Hard to do" was spot on.

I hate breaking up. Mainly because you've invested all this time into someone and then it doesn't work out. It fails. And me, personally, I hate failing. I take it way to personally - whatever it might be that I'm failing at during that specific moment.

So a few weeks ago I broke up with the guy I was dating for six months. I did it for a number of reasons: we were too different, he couldn't give me what I want, he's too reserved...the list goes on and on. The problem with breaking up with this particular guy is that I actually like the guy. I could see being friends now that I don't want to date him anymore.

Yes, yes I know what you are thinking.

"Mugsy, this just isn't going to work." Trust me, I hear my reasonable self lecturing my emotional-optimistic self later on once this has failed, and for a second time nonetheless.

Anyways the story goes on.

So today we are e-mailing back and forth about hiking plans this weekend (yes big mistake, I know) when out of the blue he writes, "I got offered a full-time position." Followed by: "It's a really big promotion with some good perks." Now let me preface this with our his situation and my situation. Ex-boyfriend B has been a tempt to hire for about 2 months since starting with a new company and previously he was full-time with a  different employer. I, on the other hand, have been at numerous levels of unemployed, self-employed, interned, part-time employed, full-time employed with two separate companies and currently, sit at part-time employed. So imagine what I'm thinking. No it's not anything along the lines of "That's great! I'm so happy for you. Congrats!" Even though that is what my reply was. My thoughts went something like this: "Are you flocking kidding me?"

No I do not want to start dating this guy again because of his improved job situation but I do want to show him up. No one likes to be out done by an ex. And it just flames my fire since that I haven't been hired on full-time anywhere yet (yes I'm actively seeking employment).  So now I'm considering canceling our hiking trip because I don't think I can face him. Plus it's going to be awkward anyways.

So right now I'm having reasonable Mugsy and emotional-optimistic Mugsy duel it out.

A Split Second

A girl at university got me hooked on song lyrics. Before her I never paid much attention to anything else besides beats and if I could dance to it. Now I appreciate good lyrics; although I'm a sucker for good beats still. And that girl is now one of my best friends.

Song lyrics can depict your feelings, boost your mood, lighten a sad situation and even provide good advice. But mostly, I think, good lyrics let you know that others have felt the way you are feeling at that instant when you listen to the song. It's assurance.

It's funny how some people walk into your life and stay for a while. Or some people fall through your  life for an instant. It's like they never had stopped falling so for only a split second were you on the same level. And what happens when you wanted that person to stay longer? 

Grace Potter's "Apologies" fits how I'm feeling but in an unexpected away.

Yesterday he said my eyes were fading fast away,
I said But what do you expect?
You asked me not to stay,
And if it all have been for the best,
I wouldn't feel this way,
He said, Oh, he said,

He said it's crazy,
How love stays with me,
Yeah
And Oh and it hurts me,
Cause I don't want to fight this war,
And its amazing,
To see me reading through this scene of love,
And feel,
And Apologies, Apologies.

Now love is like a blanket,
It gets a little bit to warm sometimes I wanna wrap somebody in it,
Who can hold me in his arms,
Cause when it got a little to hot in there,
He was only stepping out for air,
And he froze, Oh he froze

Oh, He said it's crazy,
How love stays with me,
Yeah
And Oh and it hurts me,
Cause I don't want to fight this war,
And its amazing,
To see me reading through this scene of love,
And feel,
And Apologies, Apologies.

Yesterday he looked at me with a tear in his eye,
He said, Ive always tell you your my friend,
I hope I don't have to lie,
Because its clear you love another man.
And I said, Your damn right.
And he said, Oh he said

He said it's crazy,
How love stays with me,
Yeah
And Oh and it hurts me,
Cause I don't want to fight this war,
And its amazing,
To see me reading through this scene of love,
And feel, And Apologies,

He said it's crazy,
How love stays with me,
And oh that it hurts me,
That I didn't figure it out before,
And now its to late,
For us little queen,
Way to late for dignity,
Its time for apologies.
Apologies, Apologies, Apologies

As simple as it should be

"I don't know."

That sums up my life quite well right about how. I have a dating relationship that is in limbo but probably closer to dead than alive. I'm currently only working part-time and volunteering the rest of the time. I coach too. But really at any moment I could walk away from it all. I have no ties, nothing financially holding me back and no apartment I would need to sub lease (one of the many great parts about living with the folks). I could simply backup and leave but it never seems that simple to me.

"I don't know."

I think that's the theme of my 20s.