Let's rub salt into the wound

Who ever sang "Breaking Up is Hard to do" was spot on.

I hate breaking up. Mainly because you've invested all this time into someone and then it doesn't work out. It fails. And me, personally, I hate failing. I take it way to personally - whatever it might be that I'm failing at during that specific moment.

So a few weeks ago I broke up with the guy I was dating for six months. I did it for a number of reasons: we were too different, he couldn't give me what I want, he's too reserved...the list goes on and on. The problem with breaking up with this particular guy is that I actually like the guy. I could see being friends now that I don't want to date him anymore.

Yes, yes I know what you are thinking.

"Mugsy, this just isn't going to work." Trust me, I hear my reasonable self lecturing my emotional-optimistic self later on once this has failed, and for a second time nonetheless.

Anyways the story goes on.

So today we are e-mailing back and forth about hiking plans this weekend (yes big mistake, I know) when out of the blue he writes, "I got offered a full-time position." Followed by: "It's a really big promotion with some good perks." Now let me preface this with our his situation and my situation. Ex-boyfriend B has been a tempt to hire for about 2 months since starting with a new company and previously he was full-time with a  different employer. I, on the other hand, have been at numerous levels of unemployed, self-employed, interned, part-time employed, full-time employed with two separate companies and currently, sit at part-time employed. So imagine what I'm thinking. No it's not anything along the lines of "That's great! I'm so happy for you. Congrats!" Even though that is what my reply was. My thoughts went something like this: "Are you flocking kidding me?"

No I do not want to start dating this guy again because of his improved job situation but I do want to show him up. No one likes to be out done by an ex. And it just flames my fire since that I haven't been hired on full-time anywhere yet (yes I'm actively seeking employment).  So now I'm considering canceling our hiking trip because I don't think I can face him. Plus it's going to be awkward anyways.

So right now I'm having reasonable Mugsy and emotional-optimistic Mugsy duel it out.